"I was sitting in a sauna when that feeling hit me. I was looking at a beautiful lake scene through a glass wall and remember thinking 'yeah, this is pretty great, life could be like this.' I realized that something had to change, I couldn’t continue as before. I was in the middle of burnout. My friend told me that it was the smartest thing he had heard me saying in 30 years. At that time I was an entrepreneur and loved working. I was ready to make compromises with everything else, even in my marriage, which actually led to divorce.
But then I had to stop. Doctors diagnosed me with a brain tumor, they told it might be caused by stress. Luckily it wasn’t fatal, but after the treatments I had to see doctors regularly cause my health was still in bad condition. I got exhausted just by talking, my stomach was messed up and I got tired even in a elevator in a ski resort. Even though so many people had warned me, I didn’t believe. I had to realise it by myself. And luckily I did.
I isolated myself for one and half years and put my life back on track. I had to teach myself to eat and sleep again. Now I’m working as an optician in Silmäasema stores. I have normal work days and this time I don’t want to work in a hurry, I want to take time and use caution when serving my customers. And my customers have given me commendations for that.
In my life I do things that I have always wanted to do. I moved back to the center of Helsinki, cause that’s where I always wanted to live. I go to cafeterias, movies and watch life: people passing by, display windows, buildings. Finally I can live just the kind of normal, boring life, which I like. I can walk to the sea shore and notice how small I am next to it. That, if anything, is worth seeing.”